New Ears

Thursday finally came for us to see the ENT. It was a much anticipated visit. I had many people call afterwards wanting to hear the verdict.

We drove to the appointment in silence. Cannon was watching the scenery, the radio was off, and the only logical thing to do was pray. I specifically asked for God to provide an answer at that appointment. That I would leave having a peace about what he said. No matter the outcome I would immediately know what was going on. I even *gulp* asked God that if the answer was that there wasn't anything wrong with Cannon for me to feel peace.

While sitting in the waiting room of an office not specially geared for children I realized I better write a list of things I wanted to be sure and address. The list was short, relatively speaking, so I scribbled down screaming out of frustration, erratic behavior, not able to pinpoint triggers that upset him, inconclusive hearing test back in December, plateau in speech progress. I think that was all. I really didn't even know how I was going to explain that to a doctor who didn't know us. But I gave it my best effort and he listened. I mean really listened to me. I cried, I got the hard lump in my throat, I stopped in mid-sentence because I realized that I wasn't making much sense. So he matter-of-factly said. "Well, let's see if there is anything I can do."

A little poking, prodding and coaxing was all it took to see that there was blockage in both ears. His left ear was completely blocked and the right ear was moderately blocked. He kept referring to Cannon as being deaf. I just lost it. I couldn't look up because I was crying and couldn't stop. He said that a child that can't hear is more likely to be frustrated and aggressive. I was asked if Cannon had ever had any head trauma. Dude, what gave it away? The missing front tooth or the fresh scar on the chin? But in reality I can't remember a bump that really made me concerned. He is a boy after all so yes we did have lots of goose eggs at one point but nothing that sent us to the doctor.

So on Wednesday the 3rd we are going to get tubes in his ears. And as I sit here typing that date I realize that God made yet another provision for us. WOW!!! I am in tears now. I was concerned because Wednesday was our kickoff for the fall Wednesday night program at church and I was trying to come up with a way for me to miss or for Cannon to be taken care of so that I could be there. None of this was really convenient. But this morning our plans changed and there won't be children's church for this week. Amazing how God knew I was worried and helped me to walk through something.

So back to the 3rd. We have to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and should be there for a few hours. After a few days of recovery I am told we should be able to fully see the results of Cannon's procedure. I don't know if it is a surgery or just a procedure. It doesn't take long~maybe 15 minutes total but he is put fully under and that seriously scares me more than anything. I know that God wouldn't take us this far for there to be complications in the end.

One thing I am waiting to hear is Cannon's sweet voice saying his name. He says Nannon and hardly ever makes hard consonant sounds so everything is very mumbled and soft. Not that he talks soft but the sounds are soft. Hard to explain if you don't know what I am talking about. Anyways there are a lot of vowel sounds in his speech and very little hard sounds. Some words that I will miss are ickle-tickle, now-cow, who-horse. Something I am not sure we will ever correct or could at this point is that Cannon doesn't call Mason by his name. It is DeDe. You can very slowly say May-son and Cannon very slowly will repeat De-De.

So I specifically ask from you friends, family, blog buddies that you pray for us this week. That God will be surrounding us on Wednesday morning. That this is the exact procedure to heal Cannon. That after he is fully recovered we start focusing on 3-year-old behavior issues and not always wonder if it is because he is just frustrated. That Cameron and I can be consistent on our discipline so that when people are around him I not constantly having to apologize for misbehavior. I have asked for this before so you can safely assume this is weighing heavily on my heart.

Cannon was so excited to tell people this morning he was going to get new ears this week. I know he doesn't understand what this will mean but it sure does make me smile thinking how much our lives can change by next Sunday.