Reposted from 4/29/07

Today has been filled with tears but oh so glorious in that my grandmother is finally clear and home with grandpa. They are celebrating together tonight. As much as our hearts ache right now it is comforting to know she is right where she should be at this point in her life.

The last time...
As parents we celebrate all the firsts that happen in our children's lives. We are programmed to think of these achievements as life changing. I fall into this category of people. I can rattle off most of the “firsts” that happen without even thinking of where the baby book is to check my stats. This information has a permanent spot in my memory and I will cherish the memories that were made in the process. The firsts that have the most special places in my heart are when Gracelyn learned to walk. (13 ½ months) We were at our friends the Stones house and I remember bringing my camera that night just in case she took more than 3-4 steps and she did about 10 actually. Cannon started sucking his thumb at 4 months. I thought he would just do it every once in a while but he has stuck with it and it is the cutest thing. I love that about him. Mason started smiling the day after his 2 month check-up. The doctor asked if he was smiling and I said no but I bet it is soon. And the very next day he grinned so big. He’s so smart. I can tell by the look in his eyes.

The things that have the normal “firsts” attached to it are easy to remember and accept but I am having a hard time understanding the “lasts”. The last time Gracelyn said “Hold you” and started saying “Hold me”. The very last time she called lotion ju-juice. (That one lasted a long time) The last time she said her nose was sticking out for my nose is running. The last time she rode in her toddler car seat and started sitting in the big girl booster. That was huge for me. I know it was sometime around a year ago but I can’t remember the exact day. The last time Cannon had to be swaddled to sleep through the night. The last time he ate baby food and went the whole day eating real food. The last bottle I ever fed him. Mason will be 3 months old on Wednesday and he has is own lasts. I am hanging onto every one of them because I think he will be our last baby and I want to remember every single last time I do something with him. The firsts are great but the lasts are so memorable as well. Pretty soon there will be plenty for me to remember.

My Grandma May has Alzheimer’s and for the past 3 ½ years has lived in assisted living facilities or nursing homes. I remember so much as a child and our 2-week summer visits to the lake with grandma and grandpa. I loved helping in their garden, playing in the cellar, riding our bikes, and going fishing. It was a true summer experience. I remember it all vividly and looked forward to our trips. But today as I was taking pictures of her holding Mason I realized that I don’t remember the last time she called me by my name. That she actually knew it was me there and not just a relative. She knows we are related but it has been a while since she has known I was Keri. I have to explain to Gracelyn every time we go that Grandma will ask her age and her name every 2 minutes (no exaggeration) and that Gracelyn doesn’t need to get frustrated with her and just answer her again and again with a smile. Gracelyn always wants to bring up my Grandpa that died 4 years ago and it is sometimes comical to hear what Grandma will say. Because to Grandma, Leon/Daddy/Grandpa is just down the hall somewhere.I have tried to remember Grandma’s lasts and I can’t I wish I knew the last time she knew it was me coming through her door. I might get that someday because on rare occasions she does remember some people but I personally haven’t gotten to be one of those people. I hope that it does happen one day before she goes home. Just once for her to say Keri without being told it is me. I have accepted her illness and love that she is happy. She is happy and healthy for the most part but I have not accepted that she will not say Keri again. I thought I did but I guess I haven’t. I want to share my kids with her and for her to know that her youngest granddaughter has 3 kids of her own. That one of them is named after her. I want that so bad. All I can know for sure is that very soon she will have clarity in her head and her family will finally all be with her when she does go to heaven.

I never got the moment of her calling my name, but I was blessed with 33 years of her love and that is more than I could ever really ask for. We were so blessed with her sweet spirit and love of her family. She was fiercely loyal and had a sense of humor that was unbeatable. All I can do tonight is continue to stare at her picture and already miss her like crazy. I pray peace for my mom and aunts and uncle as they deal with the death of their mother. I pray strength for all my cousins and sister as we comfort our parents during the time. And I pray acceptance as we continue our lives with memories of a woman who was just so incredibly amazing!

Where have I been?

Loving on these four sweeties!! Life has been full and wonderful the past few months. I make no promises for updates.

Reece at 31 weeks

He is doing great!! Growing strong and really getting lots of chub added to him. He is approx. 4lbs 2oz. Loved getting to see him one more time before he is here.

Wonderland

We had the fantastic opportunity to help at the annual United Parents picnic/Wonderland/gathering at Thompson Park a few weeks ago. Cameron was bummed because he had to work to get caught up because of the rain that we have had lately. So myself and all three kiddos headed to the park to pass out water/drinks and then headed over to Wonderland. Thankfully we weren't alone. A great group of people from church helped me and took the kids on all sorts of rides. Whew!!! I was so thankful! Cannon and Gracelyn loved it. Mason could have stayed home and been just fine. Rides are NOT his thing at all.

Progression of pregnancy~and baby name

Here is the progression of this pregnancy. I am feeling fat, huge, massive, whale-like, enormous...nice huh???? I know I look normal and that ALL pregnant women go through phases of feeling like this. But seriously this summer has been HOT so the swelling has been a nice touch. (sarcasm at it's best)

My cankles are lovely and instead of going down each day and showing up around 4 in the afternoon. They are permanent these days. From my thigh all the way to my feet it is one long line. No definition at the knee and actually they look like stumps. My toes look like little sausages to boot. he he he!

As far as how I am actually doing~GREAT. Feeling exactly like I should with the right amount of uncomfortableness, the right amount of tiredness, the right amount of aches and pains. So just perfect. :)

The greatest accomplishment (besides growing a healthy baby) I've done this pregnancy is name him before he is born. I mentioned it before about how we haven't ever done this before. It is soooo fun. I think if I knew how great it feels to name a child before they are born I would have done it sooner. Seriously I love calling him by his name. Makes me feel like I am one of the elite group. Silly I know but it is fun to say his name. It is fun to write his name. And it is fun to make things for the boy's room knowing what his name is.
Oh you want to know what his name is??? Well it is...


REECE

No middle name yet. Hey that's a lot to ask of us. We got the first name so give us a break on the middle name!! :) Not sure if this will be settled before he is born but I am hoping so. I always thought it would be Williams but Cam won't commit to it. I think he is just holding out to mess with me! :)

Baby Reece or Weece as Mason calls him will be here anywhere from 7 weeks (I have gone into labor at 36 weeks with the other 3) to 13 weeks since technically delivering at 42 weeks is just as normal as delivering at 38 weeks. UGH!!! I can't imagine the possibility of being pregnant in November!!! I have it in my mind the last week of September but still I am absolutely not going to bet on a date or think of it being a sure thing. I want Reece to stay as long as he needs to.

Life

Life has been happening which makes it tougher to blog. I do keep up with things on Face Book but that's just not the same. So I'm sorry that I have neglected all you faithful readers! :) I'll take you over the past couple of months to update you. Warning~I just spared you a major picture post. I lost about 200 pictures this morning. I had pictures to go with each of these events and lost them all. Well most of them. But anyway it was a major bummer and according to Gracelyn we can just draw pictures of what all happened instead of having photos. Smart cookie she is.

End of May:

• School let out and we were just thrilled to have Gracelyn home full time. The boys miss her sooo much while she is gone and ask for her all day. Now their attention is turned to Cameron's work schedule. I think I need to do a better job of teaching them anticipation. Oh well. But it was a great ending to a very successful year.
• Cameron and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary with a trip for two to Oklahoma City. It was a great 5 days. We had originally thought we would go to Vegas or out east since neither of us had ever been that way but then I found out I was pregnant and traveling on such a big trip didn't sound as appealing. I am so glad our plans got altered. It really was just so fun to relax, do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and have no schedule. We ate late, stayed up late, slept late, it was heaven.

• Gracelyn got to have a getaway of her own by taking a trip with Aunt Kassie for a week. She had a blast and of course missed us but not as much as we missed her.

June:

• Cameron came back from our trip and hasn't stopped since. He has a very busy summer. The Lord continues to bless us with work which is a huge thing but of course economy struggles happen to EVERYONE so it has been a little rough but we are making it. God continues to show his grace and mercy each day so how can we not be thankful for that?
• The boys continued in their MDO summer program. They just go once a week and have gotten to really enjoy some time away from mommy.
• Our new church (how long do you keep saying new?) has been really blessed by the Lord. Although there were a few days I wondered if I was really cut out for being apart of a new ministry I have continued to grow, be blessed, and love being associated with this body of Christ. Our children's ministry has taken off and that is always a HUGE addition to a church. We are having fun, loving the Lord and teaching children about the love of Christ. Cameron and my brother-in-law Eric were selected to be deacons and my dad was selected to be an elder. None of these titles is more important than any other member in the congregation but it just puts more accountability in the leadership. These men served the same before as they do now but there is more purpose behind it. More accountability, more commitment. I am proud of their faith journeys. The Lord has really worked on them individually and collectively which is just wonderful to watch. I get a front row seat in it all but still the whole group of elders and deacons is a blessing. The work that these men do for LTM is amazing. Their hearts and mission to serve our Lord is inspiring.
• Gracelyn and I have gone to dr. appointments, dentist appointments and just over all mommy/daughter time. I have loved it!!!
• Found out that Melban baby #4 will be a boy. That's old news now but seriously it is so fun to finally know what it is. We have two name choices that are equally liked by all. I have no idea how we will choose. I am ready to put them in a hat and draw but Cameron won't let me. I would love to have this boy named before his birth. I think that is so fun and something we haven't ever done before but why not now??? I will make a name post soon so hopefully you all can vote. Like I said each day I call him by both names. Hmmm... Maybe he can have 2 middle names. That would satisfy me.
• My dear mommy friend Amy (she used to be my college friend and then turned into my young married friend and then transferred to my mommy friend) had her 4th precious baby. Ava Patrice was born on the 25th and was just perfect. You will have to hop over to her blog to check her out.

July:

• We had the Ators out for some firework fun. Hop over there to see some fireworks and cute kids... It was fun as always for them to be here.
• Church had a huge 4th of July event at the Crums. Loved getting to watch the city fireworks.
• Working on getting the kids switched rooms. Three little boys in one room~WOWZERS! It will be so fun for them. Dad is painting a set of bunk beds for us and we will need to paint the light yellow room taupe. The mural will be painted a light pink. *sigh* That is going to be tough I won't lie. I have loved that mural and seriously find it hard to gear up to paint. I might have to let someone else actually do it. Gracelyn's room is the one I am having the most fun with. She is getting a bedroom makeover for her birthday (in 2 weeks YIKES) and it is soooo fun. She picked out her bedding and knows quite a bit of what it will look like so I made some wall art as a surprise for her. The colors are so fun and very bright. The boy's rooms will be brick red, navy and tan. Very boyish. I need to get inspired for decorations which I have a few ideas up my sleeve already. Here's a hint of what G's room will look like.

Okay I think that takes us up to today. We are going to Splash a local water park and although I know that 2 of my 3 will enjoy this adventure I am not so sure about the littlest one. He hasn't gotten wet all summer. Unless he is the holder of the water hose he doesn't want one little drop on his body. Should be fun! :)

Here's a few pictures taken at church:


And just because I think it is hilarious~I didn't know it was being taken of course but I did have the stance down perfect. Hands on lower back hips and belly out to yonder. I was about 22 weeks I think. Still a long ways to go.
Take care everyone!!

finally something to write about! :)

We found out today that the newest Melban child will be a BOY!!!! Now that is worth blogging about. Other than that we have been doing the regular summer things. Swimming, playing at the park for hours on end, lazy days enjoying the company of my kids being home all together. Life is wonderful. A picture post is coming soon!

Saying Yes

The most important questions I've ever been asked~

1. Do you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?

2. Will you be my wife?

3. Do you take this man to be your husband?

Ten years ago today I married the most amazing man. He was literally my Prince Charming. We have had a wonderful 10 years that makes my heart flutter. We made it. I don't think we have arrived at the magical marriage heaven, but we made it 10 years.

My goal in marriage was forever. So far so good!

I want to share what I have learned in the last 10 years that makes our marriage work.

~Cameron listens to me. Now, not all the time because he does love sports, but when it is just us talking he does listen. He truly wants to know what is going on in my head. He wants me to tell him so that he doesn't have to guess. I learned that he can't read my mind and that even if I have to tell him what I want to hear he will say it and mean it.

~There isn't many things more important than showing respect to your husband. That alone will make Cam shine. As long as I am respecting him and showing him honor he is one happy guy.

~Cameron is sensitive to my love language. I need security, affection and words to make me happy and Cam comes through for me. If there is a time that we aren't particularly lovey towards each other I get in a funk and Cameron knows how to turn it around. He has also learned a tap on the hiney while cooking dinner isn't the same as a nice strong hug. :)

~I have learned to submit to my husband. Many people might laugh at this one. I am not a doormat, nor do I condone that behavior at all. Cameron is not always right and through that I still submit to his authority as head of our household. I express my opinions and give my thoughts on situations in our home freely without hesitation. Cameron then makes decisions for our family based on my needs, the needs of our family and what he knows is right for us. I don't always agree but I still submit.

~Kids make life sweeter. All of our children are wonderful additions to our family. They definitely make life more interesting. If we hadn't been blessed with them I know that Cameron would still love me the same. Kids do not make our life complete. Cameron and I complete each other. That is what God intended. Children are wonderful blessings that we cherish and are very happy to have but they don't make our marriage.

~Forgiveness is unlimited.

~God is the core of our lives. Separately and together, God is intertwined in such a way that although we fall short sometimes we strive to center every decision, thought, action, deed around what would bring glory to our Savior.

My list could go on but I believe these to be the most substantial to making our marriage work.

Do we argue? Yes. Do we disagree? Yes. Do we get on each other's nerves? Yes.

Do we love each other? Yes. Do we passionately care about each other? Yes. Do we respect each other? Yes.

Will we make it? Yes!

no title

feeling overwhelmed. so much so that i can't even spend the time to capitalize! :)

life is full right now. full of joy, full of business, full of chores. full of love for my family. full of love for my friends. full of emotion, full of wonder.

i don't doubt what GOD has in store for me but that confidence doesn't take away the fact that life is still full of being overwhelmed with stuff.

can't wait for summer. i have such great great hopes of being able to soak up each day that is full of the wonderful things that my kids do.

Sweet boy!

As we were laying in bed last night we hear Cannon mumbling something. I thought he was talking to his cars until I realized it was the familiar tone of his prayers. They always sound the same even if he changes the words. We can make out about 80% of them but there are a few words that are just between him and God.

We heard him say "thank you mommy, thank you daddy, thank you DeDe, thank you Grace." He would go all night if we didn't throw out "in Jesus' name~" and he then said Amen.

All from his bed while we were still in ours. So precious.

My kids WILL know a few things in life. The list will grow but right now the most important things are that God loves them. Died for them. Rose for them. And that mommy and daddy couldn't be more blessed than to have these three (ahem 4) children. That we think God gave us the cream of the crop.

On a different note I might be out of work soon. Should find out tonight or tomorrow if River Road closes for Swine Flu! We were working like mad men trying to get the end of year testing done today. I subbed 1/2 the day and tested the other 1/2 and realized I had forgotten how hard it is to keep up with Kindergarten ALL DAY and that one kid can really cause the whole day to go down hill. Found another name we will never use for our own kids! :)

Where is thumbkin?

See how precious this little guy is with his thumb! I mean how much cuter can a little boy get? I have not had the fortune of having a baby become attached in any way to a pacifier but have seen the purpose in them. I wanted Gracelyn to like them so bad but nope. So when Cannon didn't care for them either I was bummed but around 4 months he quickly found a pacifier attached to him. YEAH!! Problem solved. I encouraged it. Helped him out if he got frustrated finding his little treasure. Cameron fussed at me the entire time begging me to not encourage his thumb sucking habit. Well 3 1/2 years later where did we find ourselves? With a child who had his thumb in his mouth 24/7!!! I mean all the time especially at nap time or bedtime. It was something that we saw was affecting his teeth and I was wondering how in the world were we going to get rid of this "treasure."

So I had given up trying to come up with a plan but Mason stepped up to the plate. 2 or so weeks ago he threw a toy at Cannon and he tried to catch it but instead it cut his thumb. Cannon was devastated. I mean he was sooo upset that Mason had hurt his thumb. He tried very hard for the entire day to suck his thumb and had no luck. It hurt and was sore. So nap time was short because he couldn't fall to sleep. Bedtime was excruciating because he didn't have anything to keep him occupied so he kept getting up but oh well we pushed through. I thought surely in a few days he would be fine. Well 2 days turned into 5 and then before we knew it a week went by. THERE WERE MANY FITS IN THIS TIME. Remember the Easter Egg Hunt?? I think he could have calmed down if his thumb were available.

So here we are 2 1/2 weeks later and NO THUMB! I can't believe all it took was a boo boo to his thumb and viola it would be over. I mean seriously how blessed can one girl be? So we are thumb free and we didn't even try. I will say that I never doctored that thumb because after I saw that it was keeping him from sucking it I decided that although I didn't want it to get infected I didn't want it to heal super quick either. I did have thoughts of rubbing dirt in it a time or two when it looked a little too good but nah I would never do that.

He is healed nicely now and we don't have a child sucking his thumb. I miss it kinda. It was just a neat characteristic of Cannon. The blanket holding thumb-sucker. But now we get the really fun stuff of him talking more and more. He is doing FANTASTIC in his speech. If you are sure of the context of his conversation you can understand almost anything he says. He is typical in that he switches or makes up words but Gracelyn was the queen of that and we fed into it a little too much at times and called ordinary objects her quirky nicknames for YEARS. But for the most part he is right on track for his progress. YEAH CANNON!

But I am hoping that baby #4 takes to the paci and puts the others to shame. Boy that would be nice.

Side note~Lots of prayers need to go out to my friends and family who have hurts. Emotional and physical-so just sit at your screen and repeat after me:

Lord, Please hold in your hand all of Keri's peeps who are hurting. You know their hurts better than anyone and please provide peace, comfort, and healing for them all. Amen

Be Blessed!!!

Predictable

Isn't as the saying goes. Wash your car and get a guaranteed rain storm? Well I washed the car Thursday right before picking up the boys and around 5:00 I listened to the best rainstorm in MONTHS! I cashed in on the rain check Friday evening and we had showers at our house around 3 today. Cameron said it was just in our area (of course). Love it. So just to let you know that we are pretty tight with the rain maker (God) and how we let Him know we want rain, besides praying, is to go and get our cars washed.

The Day After

What did the day after resurrection day look like? What happened the very next day after all the glory and wonderfulness of Sunday?

Around here it looks like I am home. I have no excuse which is really sad. I feel fine. I didn't give one either. I just said I wasn't coming into work today. It is chilly, but not bad so weather isn't an issue. The house is spotless so it isn't like I have housework looming over my head. The kids are all healthy as horses so they aren't a reason to stay home either.

I don't have a reason why I am home except I just needed to be home today. The boys are still asleep so it is even quieter than usual. hmmmmm....

What does the day after look like for you?

Today has been one of those days where I have to repeat to myself over and over and over again~ I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids.

We have had a rough day. Well Cannon and Mason had a rough day I was just fine. I didn't throw a fit. I said my kind words. I did everything I was asked to do. So the problem wasn't with me. Nope, not at all. It was the boys. I tried to think of every excuse in the world to why they were so off today and I came up with nothing. I had an embarrassing mommy moment with BOTH of them breaking down into tears and screaming to compete for my attention DURING THEIR EGG HUNT AT SCHOOL! Yep in front of EVERYONE! Joy. If that doesn't make your pits sweat I don't know what will. I almost wanted to cry but decided that laughing was much better. I didn't look so pathetic that way. (I think) Anyways they survived and we are off to another day.

I will throw this in there that Cannon has not sucked his thumb in 6 days. I want to blame his crankiness on it but I just can't. I mean I really want to but I think he is just in a funk. He told me didn't want to be my friend today. I was so happy that he is at the point to communicate his feelings but shocked that I was defriended by my own son. Hmmm...

I will post later about his thumb episode. You will be on the edge of your seats I'm sure! :)

Approachability

Something I have been struggling with for a while is how approachable I am. I would love to think I am the person that comes to mind when times are tough and you need that person that always says the right thing or says nothing at all. Unfortunately I am not so sure. I think I am that person but then I really wonder. I struggle with this because it is something I seek in people. Can I strike up a conversation with you and feel like we have known each other for a while? Do people think that I am approachable for things more serious that toddler talk?

How approachable am I in the church setting? Would someone new on the scene see me as a person that can be trusted with their first conversation in a new place?

I know there are things that God works on personally with each of us and right now I am in a place that I do seek to do things better. After being in a position of being REALLY comfortable in church/work/among friends and now in a place where I am challenged I am seeing that I have some work to do.

Where are you at in the cycle of being approachable? How do you know you are? What gets your head in the game and on the right track?

baby pictures

First pictures of baby #4!! :) It was moving all over the place and super wiggly!! We couldn't get a profile picture so I opted to not have the alien picture printed. HA!! It wasn't a bean since I am 12 weeks. I measured within a couple of days of my due date so that is GREAT! I go back in a month for a dr. visit but I won't get a level II ultrasound until 23 weeks. UGH! I have to wait til June 23rd.

I asked about the risk of early delivery for this little one and he said the highest risk factor for preterm labor is previous preterm deliveries. Well there we have it folks. He thinks we will have this one as early as the others but we are both hopeful that it doesn't warrant any concerns and I am confident that everything will be just fine like the previous 3! :) He did laugh when I said watch this one come at 40 weeks. He didn't think I had to worry about it going that long but he has seen it happen. So we are settling in for a good 5+ more months of pregnancy and pray this little one is safe, healthy and worry free!

I WON~AND TONS OF PRAISES!!!

I won a blog design for $15!! I didn't get the grand prize but I got a nifty consolation prize. I'll take it. I have a fun new idea. My friend Teresa won a FREE BLOG MAKEOVER!!! She was one of the Grand Prize Winners.

This is also my 300th post. Hmmm.... Should have posted something more exciting but really what is more exciting than winning something?

Actually I know! My friend Kate is just amazing and continues to impress me with her strength and courage that is solely from the Lord. She is a wonderful child of God and I am sooooooo excited for her. God is amazing and is really reigning in her life.

My sister is moving into her very first house!!! The Giles' found a wonderful house that is perfect for them and their precious family. They close in 7 days. I am thrilled that the Lord has provided a way for this to happen. Plus my sweet nieces are 3 today!! :)

My Dad's surgery went wonderful. It was a minor skin cancer thing that God worked His healing power on. Boppy's recovery has been great!

Mom's heart cath a few weeks ago turned out to show her heart was PERFECT. Can't get much better than that. She will just have to follow up with some minor tests to figure out what is causing shortness of breath and fatigue but most importantly she has a heart that is beating wonderfully. God is so good.

hmm... what else? I have lots of praises~

Oh yeah, work is going GREAT. I am exhausted beyond belief but that is just getting into a new routine. I really like it. The kids are great. The work is minimal compared to a classroom teacher so it is really a cool gig. God really worked on me with this decision. I wasn't happy about it when I decided to go back to work but once again He put joy in my heart and it has all worked out wonderfully.

Church work is going amazingly well. God continues to lay out wonderful things for this new ministry. There is just no way around it. God is in control. As hard as it was to go through the transition it has been worth it. I do desire restoration in relationships and I know that the same God that has blessed this ministry and the people who are working to bring Him glory is the same God who will work on my heart and in the hearts of the people I love to do just that. Restoration. Time is a healer but I also think that not giving up on people is a huge thing. I'm not one to give up! :)

Okay I think that might be all I can come up with.

WAIT~OH WAIT!!! I get to have a ultrasound Tuesday along with my first REAL dr.'s visit. I am excited to see this little bean and hear it's heartbeat!! YEAH!!! I am feeling better and think that the yucky time is coming to an end... What a praise. I am getting huge which I am claiming is due to the fact that it is my 4th pregnancy and that is what happens when you are 32, out of shape, and been down this road before. At least that is what I keep telling myself!

Many blessings to you all. Hope your praises are many and bring smiles to your face! I have loved writing down all this wonderful stuff the Lord is doing.

And I'll throw this out here because I just love this guy!

blog design giveaway

Click on the button to the right for a free blog design giveaway!!! she has precious designs for the spring.

toothless Gracelyn

She lost her front right tooth!! :) I made her pull it finally after a full week of it hanging/dangling. It was gross to look at and she couldn't eat very well so today I just told her that some time she was going to pull. So we all stood around her and cheered her on. There were TONS of tears but afterwards she was so proud of herself. She looks adorable. Now onto the tooth beside it. It feels ready to pull but I'm sure we are weeks away according to G.